I hear government is planning to build a ministerial Kondengui, since, it seems, all our ministers would have to retire there after leaving office.
The chopping syndrome in this country is something else and I even suspect that all the make-believe called arrests are just to save faces with our western school masters. If it is not so, why is there no concrete effort to retrieve some of the stolen money? Since all of their hands are soiled, who can retrieve whose money? Well, let's leave the thieving crowd alone.
Ngwa, we are back on course and everything is going on smoothly after all the wahala and chasing after the wind. All the khaki boys who were almost transformed into street lights got frustrated when nobody showed they cared about the tragedy called amendment. Their plan of amending us too, if we attempted anything, failed woefully and they retreated in shame.
The worse thing happened to the S party when Cameroonians ignored the Chairman's call for nationwide mourning. Some have contented that the Chairman is now a toothless bull dog and nobody has regards for his never-ending threats. I think the Ntarinkon Lion now shares a lot in common with the Etoudi Lion; they have both been clinging to power for so long that their words have little effect on the people.
Even though
the Constitution of the S party looks democratic, it has also been
amended to give the Ntarinkon Lion eternal reign at the helm of the
party. All those who aspired to succeed the Chairman were simply tagged
as enemies and declared persona non grata.
My brother, I have now learned to enjoy my lot and live in peace than
kill myself for some inconsequential idiots who do not merit my blood.
Look at what happened in Kenya; after thousands of innocent civilians lost their lives, some undeserving opportunists are making gain out of the chaos even before the debris is cleared off.
Ngwa, this is a secret; one of my uncles of the law-making C clique has just returned with a full purse, although he has sworn that he did not receive soli after their hard work to see that the bill went through. All of them have denied that they collected anything out of the deal, but it seems they had all taken oaths before a secret shrine not to admit it.
Do you know that it is difficult to be good when you find yourself in a criminal gang? The Honourable John Garang of the enclave Nigerian end of the Constituency who thought he could be a saint in the C clique has just found out that everything is possible in this country. Poor thing!
The rumour mills have it that the hero actually collected soli and tried to play a fast one against smarter players of the dirty game. The worst is that his Honourable sister of the Mountain East Constituency is said to have masterminded his betrayal. I even hear she became Mother Christmas, dolling out ridiculous sums to the Dishonourable Members of the Lawless House to vote the bill.
At least he should have known that holiness does not pay in this country, or better still, that there is no holiness in the C clique - you are either bad or worse - simple! Some have been suggesting that he should have resigned and joined the S group, since, like him, they are fond of boycotting. But who knows whether the C saint is as holy as he gives the impression.
At times, if you believe all what politicians tell you, then you can believe that there is a mountain in Yaounde. Ngwa, how could people be so heartless; do you know that many bought crates of beer and called family members to celebrate the demise of the 'hippopotamus'? It is so sad. Many publicly said abominable things about the man.
Some even said before he kicked the bucket government was considering a law to ban him from smiling in public. Some say his children can now commence a travel agency with all the vehicles he confiscated when he was in charge of transport. We hear he had effectively taken charge of state cars and preserved them in his compound although it is not known when he had planned to refund them.
You would be scandalised that his people were still hoping that he would have been rewarded with a ministerial post for his electoral expertise that gave his place victory. I know it is never too late; after all your people in power always have a way of compensating old cronies. At least they can make him an honorary minister in the grave.
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