Virginity until marriage: A ‘virtue’ that could be preserved

By Yemti Harry Ndienla (Originally published on Associated Content)

Virginity until marriage is a desirable quality to women and it would be an honour for a man to be the one to discover his wife sexually. Accordingly, a woman who has this in mind can preserve her virginity at all cost. For this to be successful, she has to be God-fearing and understand that her body, as the Bible puts it, is the temple of the Holy Spirit and so should not be defiled. God condemns premarital sex.

The Book of God says those who have Christ have the Holy Spirit and so would live in the spirit and would not satisfy the desires of the flesh, one of which is sex. But a woman who doesn’t know, believe and stand by these virtues, would be easily lured into losing her virginity before marriage either through peer pressure or difficult living conditions. It’s advisable for a girl to strive to preserve her virginity until marriage because it makes her faithful to her husband. More so, there are multiplicities of diseases smoking our society presently. Thus coddling in pre-marital sex exposes her risk of attracting one of them that may ruin her whole life.
Nevertheless, keeping her virginity doesn’t mean she would not love or be loved owing to the fact that love is not all about sex.

In a short survey carried out in some parts of Cameroon, women rest emphasis to the fact that virginity until marriage is a virtue and could be preserved by all who cherish it. But some say the society today, where some traditions oblige a girl to give birth before marriage or where sexually inactive people are looked upon as outcast makes it difficult even when the girl has the will.

Besides, modernity has come to change the mentality of girls who would want to meet-up with the latest fashion in life. They would do anything to have money to live up to expectation and sex appears to be the free-for all and easy way of getting the money, thus making it rare nowadays to see a mature girl whose virginity has not been tampered with talk less of preserving it until marriage.

While it was commonplace to hear that a girl lived and got married before knowing a man in the yesteryears, it is difficult if not impossible today. The society is different from what it was and girls are easily lured into sex either by pull or push factors. The push factors include the desire by girls to be like their peers which often means entertaining sexual relationships with well-to-do men (locally called Mbomas, or Sugar - Daddies) so as to have money and the pull factors which among others include peer pressure.

Others however hold that if a woman is God-fearing, has a good upbringing and kept where she cannot be easily lured into sex by sex-hungry men, she could remain untouched until she sees the man of her life.

“Virginity honours womanhood” says Diane Nforem. Adding, “It is very possible for a girl to keep her virginity until marriage because it honours womanhood. If your husband were to be the one to be the first person to discover you sexually, he would always respect you”. While accepting that it may be difficult for a woman to preserve her virginity due to numerous temptations which are inevitable, Nforem, expressed believe that a girl can remain virgin until she gets married if she accepts that God condemns premarital sex and studies the Word of God, which she would use in moments of temptation. “She should be God-fearing and spirit-filled as it is only then that she can overcome the numerous challenges that usually serve as push factors to girls indulging in pre-marital sex”.
Tesang Immaculate sees it differently. “Women are materialistic”, she quipped.

“It is very difficult in this our world today where temptations abound. Women are so materialistic and would do anything to get what they want”. Given that some men would not give out something to a woman for free and would always want to trade whatever they give with sex, Tesang Immaculate, expressed regret that “some women cannot but yield so as to be given what the man has to offer.  Above all, life is hard and those who stick to the moral value of not offering themselves as sex objects easily defy that rule if their need in a particular area could not be met at a particular time”

Though difficult, Henrietta Sirri, says it’s not impossible for a woman to keep her virginity before marriage. Virginity to her, “is a woman’s pride”, and that any woman who wants to uphold that pride preserves it until she marries. “Once a man has known you sexually, he takes you for granted and a woman who keeps her virginity until marriage honours her husband. It is difficult in our days but not impossible. I think any woman who has the will would obviously have the way to do it even in the difficult society”.

Other respondents in the survey believe it would be impossible if not complex nowadays to see a girl who preserves her virginity until marriage. Not only are temptations many but that the society would look at such a person as an outcast. Besides, there are girls who would want to gain the experience and use it when they marry or would even go as far as wanting to have a child, as some societies would prescribe, before going on to marry.

Yemti Harry Ndienla blogs at Prince Report

Comments

[Lasoka]

Mr. Ndienla, Why should women keep their virginity untill marriage and not men. That is the most sexist piece i have read on this blog in years. Instead of talking about women keepng their virnity, we should be talking about abstinence which concerns both men and women.Abstinence is also good for society because it helps reduce the prevalnce of HIV IADS and other STDs. Keeping a woman's virginity untill marriage if it ever happens in this modern society is a matter of INDIVIDUAL CHOICE.

[Ras Tuge]

When you live on Jah solid foundation, you understand that the need to please the Most High always comes before the need to satisfy carnal desires. The mysterious organ that Jah put between the legs of a woman, has brought an untimely end to the lifes of many men, and has punished mankind for eternity because we transgress Jah rules. Beware of the VAGINA!

[oyes]

Ras Tuge you need to keep your libido and your Mr Johnson in check and let women do the same with what you call mysterious. It is no mystery at all. Read a book on human anatomy. Lasoka is right on point there. Male supremacy is an outdated value that is keeping Africans at a disadvantage in the world.

[UnitedstatesofAfrica]

Ras Tuge
Just when I thought you couldn't sound any more dumber, you proved me wrong but outdoing yourself and pushing the envelope of stupidity even further.

So let's blame the fall of great men on the vagina right? aren't these men adults? don't they have brains? can't they make a clear distinction between right and wrong?

So a man willingly and willfully decides to cheat on his wife with a younger mistress. According to you and your patched up doctrine, let's put ALL the blame on the Vagina of the mistress instead? you've got to be kidding me.

And the irony is, people like Ras Tuge are the first to heap insults on the Catholic Church and Christianity. How are you different? your religion even appears to be worse. Your stupidity is becoming amusing. Keep in coming; I am pleasantly entertained.

Oyes,
You've hit the nail on the head. Women in Africa are a large untapped market. The more we ignore them, the deeper we sink into the hole of nothing-ness...and sexists like Ras Tuge will make sure we continue to sink deeper into that hole.

Tell Jah to create a vagina in between his own legs so he can go and FUCK himself.