The New Cabinet Razzmatazz

By Charly Ndi Chia

The so-called October 10, Presidential election unleashed the animal in most Cameroonians. That political exercise, exposed the greed, lust, cowardice and double-speak in us.

A charade though it was, that event afforded Cameroonians a rare opportunity to chase out the thieving gang that has robbed the nation of both its resources and dignity, for over 22 years at the helm of state.

And so, while it was pretty clear that the Headache of State had illegally employed state funds to sponsor the October 11 thieving political expedition, those who ought to have booed, pelted and forced him to regurgitate the loot, were instead hailing him and begging to rake up and grovel the crumbs.

Cameroonians had sowed a whirlwind on October 11 and couldn’t, therefore, expect to reap a gentle breeze.

They had, willy-nilly, given the sit-tight regime, the ammunition, the wherewithal as it were, with which to finish them off, during the next seven years.

And this mandate to finish them off, effectively began with last week’s Ministerial appointments that served variously as a punishment for certain parts of the country, compensation for the regime’s bottom women and a further entrenchment of the gerontological kleptomania in situ.

The bloated cabinet notwithstanding, Biya apparently had more pawns on his political chessboard than he actually bargained for.

He, therefore, couldn’t have possibly appointed some scores of individuals who so badly wanted Peter Musonge’s job, let alone hundreds of others, who were aspiring to be made Cabinet Ministers.
Come to think of it; individuals virtually threw decorum to the wind, in their campaigns to have the political status quo maintained.

Unorthodox methods, including intimidation, lying, cheating and outright stealing, were employed by those who thought a win for Mr. Biya would either earn them admission into the clique of treasury looters, or continue to conceal their skeleton-infested cupboards

Take the case of Mendo Ze, who has stayed as General Manager of CRTV, since October 1988. He has conveniently reduced this state-owned media to one big choir house, with a charge to do two cardinal things: Biya and Mendo Ze’s bidding.

Also reduced, is the editorial staff of the corporation, to the level of popinjays. Job satisfaction at CRTV is as easy to get, as snow is easy to come by in Cameroon.

Mendo Ze led, or still leads by example. He is often on practically every newscast, analysing, teaching, and explaining. In certain cases, he is at once cameraman, cable man or sound technician.

But generally, everything that appears on television is bound to be tagged an original idea of the portly man, or having been supervised by him… even if he was away on one of his costly trips to Europe. His La Voix Du Cenacle outfit has been the nation’s official choir.

It still is. Mendo Ze did all of this and probably will continue to do it, to please one and only one individual-Paul Biya, the tin god.

Like a rented court jester, Mendo Ze recently resorted to playing protocol for Mr. Biya, and would sanction the cameraman who failed to register that important occasion, when Mr. President shook hands with him.

We have been seeing so much of Mendo Ze’s deification of Biya, on account of the fact that the fellow is a television addict and that he actually has unlimited access to the medium.

Hundreds of other mean cringers, including Ministers, have also been going to ridiculous extents, to catch Biya’s attention. But unlike the CRTV choirmaster, they can only pay dearly, to let Biya watch and appreciate their loyalty to his regime on prime time television.

When the worst comes to the worst, they resort to using their wives during the so-called New Year Wishes presentation to Mrs. Chantal Biya.

These wives often slip in prayer requests, apparently meant for the attention of the President, into Chantal’s hands, usually with an accompanying supplication to let it get right across to the big man.

These two examples only represent the tip of the iceberg of the apparent Jacks-In-Office, usually appointed by Biya, to man public institutions.

It is only too clear that such persons must either owe total allegiance to Biya rather than the state and the people. It is clear, as well, that Mr. Biya’s choices of people to work with are not necessarily those who can deliver, but those he thinks have either pleased him or can do his bidding.

Consequently, so many incompetent persons and other dead wood litter the administrative landscape, simply on account of their regions of origin and/or their ability to play the new deal bazaar.

The Biya regime has so conveniently polarised the nation to the extent where, rather than judge individual appointees on what they can offer, they are largely judged on where they hail from or to which party they belong.

This is why primitive motions of support and thieving homecomings are organised, to thank the Head of State, for appointing a son of the soil. As if by appointing one to a serve in a particular public office, Biya is doing the one and the rest of the nation a favour.

By their failure to dislodge a corrupt, inept and inert regime like the one in place, the Cameroonian has portrayed himself as that animal that takes delight in being entangled in a web of contradictions; that animal that envies its own image before a mirror of honour. It is the lot of the Cameroonian to complain bitterly of how the regime in place has finished the nation.

But when the very regime offers an opportunity to be flushed down the cesspool of history, the same Cameroonian trades off the opportunity for a few grains of rice, and a promise to appoint a son of the soil…

Under this state of mind, he becomes that animal that takes delight in being constantly in love with the sharpest edge of life.

The thorny floor to him becomes the fur of sheep, spread out in a summer night.

The Cameroonian’s lot thus becomes that of one who has sentenced himself to suffering and smiling, to the razzmatazz of His Royal Excellency’s governance or lack of it…

Comments

[wanaku]

Yes
Shuffering and shmiling indeed!

This stupid joke is going to last a total of 30 years!!
Three generations!! A quarter century plus!

Gorilla wey comout for bush,
enter lagos,
enter bus,
e miss road.

Sorry for ma people
Them know say for play njangi with this kind people
Nothing no go waka
chop broke pot
chop no wash pan
chop no wipe mop
sep.

The big palava na sey
No man or woman dey wey
i get ntong for challenge
the system
Send this people back for go climb tree
instead of government pajero.
Another jobajo put the problem for under belly.
~w~

[Charles Taku]

Charles has probally forgotten to take note that this so-called cabinet like the ones before is a consolidation of power by members of secret societies to which Biya and his juncta are very closely associated; especially the AMORC or Rosicruciam order.
It is unfortunate that in the past twenty three years of this devil worshipping jucta at the helm of the state, most Cameroonian intellectuals subscribed and became members of these satanic associations inorder to qualify for ministerial or quasi-ministerial positions.
It is now clear that Biya does not appoint people by accident.One of the criteria is membership of these associations.
Jesters, buffons and stooges who thought that membership of the secret society so called the CPDM without more qualified them to be appointed must rethink their strategy by now.
Therefore all the crimes committed against democracy and the people in the hope of getting the attention of the god-man Biya bi Mvondo, merely qualify them for the dungeon when the people shall reclaim the Republic some time before or within the next seven years.
Thanks Charlie for sounding the alarm when there is still time to turn aroud
The people shal prevail.
Chief Fuatabong Achaleke Taku

[Oslo, Divine]

Thanks a million Ndi Chia. Your incisive analysis of the post-electoral strategems of our so called 'enlightened leaders' leaves me with goose pimples. Biya remains president because we actually want him to be there. The recent event in Ukraine justifies the role of people-power in a decent democratic society. Sorry for those who coined the slogan "Power to the People". You don't give people power in a dictatorship. People have power. They must use it if they want to unseat Biya's kleptocratic regime in Cameroon. The only hope I have in Cameroon is the Civil Society and not the politicians. Politicians have shown their limits. Even the fire-eater of Suffer Don Finish has tasted power and wealth. He is not willing to galvanise the masses as he did in the 1990s. Hear him talk,you suspect him immediately. Achidi was right in one of his interviews when he said that violence has stopped in the N.W province because those who in thw '90s hadn't property, have today. They cannot thus encourage violence because they are conscious of the personal effects of such actions.

[mbanfe]

Divine Oslo,
Make cold no kill you for Oslo.I hear say all paysans them for that country na fishermen then don become.My broder,no worry.Na so life complique.Make wunna teme.Dat wan now,na ya secteur.
No more ghost town for Abakwa.Massa Ndi dot turn na big katika too.Ask how much PMUC di lancee ye for dat ye chateau for Commercial Avenue.Who born dog.
You think say na how faye di work.
sorry broder,paddle ya canoe well for Oslo bcos Pays don chakara.Man lep e lep

[chicago, G.Boma]

It was a pleasure reading Charlie's insightful commentary on the political charade that is currently unfolding in Cameroon. It takes only a man Charlie's ilk to call a spade a spade.
Now that Cameroonians in their overwhelming majority have by design or inaction decided to maintain the status quo for the next seven years,I find it intriguing that Fru Ndi is being blamed for not being able to "galvanise" the masses.For a 1000frs or even a bottle of beer, we will rig to keep Biya in power.We certainly deserve the government the government that we have.And Mr.Biya has wasted no time in expressing his gratitude to all Cameroonians, CPDM or non-CPDM alike:with new taxes ,life will become more unbearable for the next seven years.But do not be disheartened; your representives in government(if you have one)will be around shortly to drown your sorrows with a 1000 frs and beer.