By Azore Opio
A man is only really considered successful; to have made it in life, if he is married, has children and is a homeowner. But in Cameroon, these attributes aren't enough symbols of the omnipotence of a man. You know, for example, that secretary is a humble word, a rather inferior denomination suggesting servanthood, menial chores like dusting the office, brewing tea, taking down notes and such things.
Hummer Jeep
But when you add the magic word General, there can be no mistaking the instant effect it produces. Wonderful how it inflates secretary; how it makes it glitter with invisible stars. You see, General embodies power, the notion of leadership, superiority. It presupposes overall control, breath of scope. So, as it is with General, so it is with cars.
Generally, a car gives a man, even a woman, some transient higher pompous status, which comes about, not because of the personality of the owner, but because of the machine itself. It lends the feeling of being better; living better that is, higher than the 'lesser' people who go about on foot.
You only have to speak to some of the owners of big cars to realise that they need only a click of a finger to embark on a typical display of Teutonic self-congratulatory backslapping. But maybe they have something to be slap-their backs about. Just look at the car called Hummer.
When The Ego Landed
The incredible came true in Buea last weekend. The GCE Board Junction suddenly became Hummer Junction, thanks to the hooting of a young man who was head over heels with the vehicle. He soon became the self-styled animator for the Hummer. He added blare to his trumpet with the courtesy of a bottle of beer.
The Hummer had been held at the Douala Seaport, courtesy of Customs at their best. At once, his life had became miserable; the humble life of the lucky owner of the Hummer… The hangers-on in Buea had started running their big mouths and began finding fault with the young Hummer owner. Once, he leaned on another bush faller's car, conversing with a pal. A bouncer sprung up.
"Komot for dat moto… mof your lass!" the bouncer yelped. And the hangers-on roared with laughter."Dat man na feyman …" they pointed at the young man who slouched away in shame and drove off in a K 90.
Then bam! Hummer at GCE Board Junction! At the weekend.
People seem infinitely more occupied by other's wealth or poverty than their own. Without much ado, the fowl-mouthed loafers dismissed any lingering doubts as to whether the Hummer would ever come at all.
Before the car was parked, a good score of curious people had rushed across the street. They flocked to the Junction as if it was a matter of the utmost urgency. Others bought drinks and embarked on a celebration even before the rightful owner of the Hummer poured his own libation.
Diners abandoned their meals just to catch a glimpse of the Hummer as it zoomed along the Biya Boulevard. Taxi drivers discharged their passengers, while scores of corteges slowed to a crawl just for the bereaved and the mourners to glimpse the American Wonder. Diners abandoned their meals to catch a glimpse of the Hummer as it glided along the Biya Boulevard. Some people hired cabs to get to the Junction.
There was a wild rumour that when the Hummer stopped at Great Soppo Market to buy tomatoes, the fruit sellers flocked to the vehicle, while the driver crossed the road. There was nobody about to sell him tomatoes. A Benz owner parked his Belgium reject and just stood gaping at the glittering army green box. What a curious effect when you are used to a Benz where there are no giants like Hummer, to find yourself suddenly faced with one.
The Hummer left the GCE Junction/Sand Pit youths gaping. Others drooled like Mongolian idiots. For many of them who have been loitering at the Junction, jobless, penniless and smokeless, this was Johnny Just Come… The mountain - the fruits of falling bush you would say - had come to Mohammed.
It called for celebration. And did they quaff!
When you know you are the best, you can afford to shout about it. This was, however, a very ungentlemanly thing to do for the young hooter, which is probably why the word Hummer died on his lips in the early hours of Monday, January 16. He seemed to blow the Hummer's trumpet even when it has got a trumpet of its own to blow! If you are excited, of course, it is a different matter.
Maybe you remember when you had a new car, or your first; how everyone looked at it, not you, and how it made you feel special. I think it is like that every time you have a new car - people looking and making comments and envying you. You can now see that the importance of a man can be measured by the size and peculiarity of his car.
Big Joke, Beast, Idiots
It is amazing what Americans think about Hummer. Some say it is the biggest joke of the entire motoring world, representing, well, they say, just exactly everything that is wrong with America's view of the world.
Expensive and still just a glorified jeep. With eight cylinders V alignment, some 300 horsepower, a nasty thirst for fuel, difficulty in manoeuvring and parking a nerve-wracking affair in cities, and a price upwards of US $ 50.000, some Americans think the Hummer a beast. But then there is driving it! All that power; the way the engine growls, the way it practically leaps out from under you.
Yes, it is an ego car. Yet, some Americans are actually not afraid to say Hummer owners are idiots.
One can now understand why Mukete hates bushfallers but that is a broad smear brush, because even in this case many who live in America believe that driving a hummer is insanity especially given the astronomical rise in petrol prices. I can imagine the shock in Buea as if you woke up to see the great pyramid sitting where clerks quarters used to be. Even in America the Hummer is a shocking sight.
Posted by: drdann | Monday, 23 January 2006 at 11:15 AM
Chop for ya sabbi bushfaller. Are sure say custom officers them hang for ya neck like santa clause is coming to Town (father Chrismas dong came from USA) HeHeHe. Make you no take all we UB girls them ma bro na beg are de beg you...
Posted by: Agbor Arrey | Monday, 23 January 2006 at 02:02 PM
Goods of ostentation. Real people donot drive a HUMMER even in America and Europe because of its damage to the environment.
I feel sorry for the owner, for there are better things for him to do with his money and I can bet the owner will not be a Bamileke. Chop for ya way.
Learn to embrace a sustainable life style.
Have you ever questioned why HUMMERS are owned by footballers, musicians and the good for nothing so called celebrities?
Simply. Most of them are hollow upstairs and can be exploited by multinationals.
Good day Hummer he goat.If you really did work hard for the money then you will doing other things. I hope you also have HUMMER CONDOMS else you may not drive the HUMMER for long. I am not jealous of you bruv.
I love my dual fuel Honda Civic.
Posted by: Mac Satan | Monday, 23 January 2006 at 07:38 PM
Please why are we still backwards in Africa?Why is it that when someone does something good we never say 'well done'? I ask, why are we still envying our brothers and sisters for a job to be given a hand of applause.Look at what your own brother had done but yet people sya negetive things about him.It doesn't matter where his money is from,but how did it get the money, that's what we should be appreciating him.It's not easy to buy a Hummer today.
There are bunch of richer people in D'la and Y'de who do not express it through cars but houses.So he prefare to have his car.Life is very short and everyone want to amass wealth and have a car and a house to be called successful.
I am very happy to see this.This what parents will be happy to see their beloved son back from "white man contry" do.Why cry for those who will not cry for you.It's high time we start being mature enough to cater for our own needs and look before you leap.
Posted by: Fritzane Kiki Hongkong | Tuesday, 24 January 2006 at 02:00 AM
I congratulate the author of the said piece.
Your eloquence and meliflousness is striking. you need to create your own column, u sure make a damn good writer.
Let men do what they must in life, its just normal for the unsuccessful and good-for-nothing to run their mouths.
Posted by: malcolmeta | Tuesday, 24 January 2006 at 03:17 AM
I congratulate the author of the said piece.
Your eloquence and meliflousness is striking. you need to create your own column, u sure make a damn good writer.
Let men do what they must in life, its just normal for the unsuccessful and good-for-nothing to run their mouths.
Posted by: malcolmeta | Tuesday, 24 January 2006 at 03:18 AM
l hope say your mami dem di drink tea for village, before you cam tif white man dem decide for buy na that kind moto?
Posted by: Biya | Tuesday, 24 January 2006 at 08:45 AM
People,
lets put this story in perspective. First of all, I don't understand why such a story will even be in the papers, its a shame and shows how backward our society is. Secondly, hummers go for $50K which is about CFA 25 mil. Now that is not a lot of money, there are landcruisers, benzs and land rovers which cost a lot more than that. I know we haven't seen hummers in pays but people shouldn't be blind folded to thinking it is that great. I love hummers for their mere size although in terms of performance, they'll be terrible in our Cameroonian roads.
Now we all know that the only reason this guy took a hummer back home is competetion, competetion amongst bushfalla's, many are trying to show who is who and what better way to show it than with a car or a huge house? Cars are all in vain cos we all know what a terrible investment they are. This story should never be on a reknown newspaper like the post though.
muna
Posted by: muna | Tuesday, 24 January 2006 at 11:48 AM
Bringing a Hummer to Buea certainly attracted the attention of some people who might not have seen such a moving 'House' before.Thus makes it news worthy.
Its size is self-publicising simultaneously with owner.This is what makes the man happy while enjoying his Jeep especially where i think, he grew up.The fabulous sums of money he paid to the custom Officers before pulling out of the ports barriers must not be minimised.
Everybody is free to do stuff like this if they chose to.whether it constitutes competetive flamboyance should not be a problem.Its a laughable piece of publicity though.
Posted by: NjifenztB.D.(U.K) | Tuesday, 24 January 2006 at 01:58 PM
Ignorant people, pay a short visit to Lagos and back, then you'll understand why wealthy Cameroonians should not only buy and bring home Hummers but also private planes and ship if possible. This is a capitalist society and owning even a private ship is no crime. If you are happy with your Honda civic, be happy with it and shut your large mouth. I'm sure you'll like to have a 4runner tommorrow, why not contact this young hummer owner to show you the way to become big?
Posted by: Atabong Christian | Tuesday, 24 January 2006 at 02:11 PM
Jealous Cameroonians.
Ideally, I would liked for him to spend that money on some form of business venture that would add value to his hometown and possibly employ some of the talented but unemployed youths. However, we live, though it doesn't seem that way, in a free country. So, the man has the right to buy whatever he wants. He has the right to spend his money on anything. That being said, such people should never complain about the lack of development or jobs for the umemployed.
Posted by: ben ako | Tuesday, 24 January 2006 at 03:16 PM
Common, lets look for a better subject for a good debate. This is very cheesy!
Posted by: Jose | Wednesday, 25 January 2006 at 05:22 AM
Though I got my reservations, that was a juicy article. People with opinions who know the art of writing should be allowed to write, whether or not it is of any reader's taste. I may differ with the writer on certain issues surrounding the mammoth jeep, but I say kudos for a well written piece.
Ticha
Posted by: Ticha | Wednesday, 25 January 2006 at 08:19 AM
Come on folks, it is just a car like any other. It works like every other common car . The price tag is just for expression of wealth which i see no problem with it . It is a matter of individual choice .
It is of no surprise to me that the writer was compelled to write the story because the arrival of the hummer is a new brand of ostentation car imports.
However,considering the price tag relatively to the other ostentation cars(fararis, mercedes 500>. bmws , royce rolls etc ) it is lower .
Nevertheless, i appreciate the effort and lavish spending of the owner , he deserves it , he surely work hard for his money . Nobody should question his choice of car .
If it is a Cameroon government official , eyebrows normally have to be raised .
Posted by: morfaw ngocha | Wednesday, 25 January 2006 at 01:10 PM
The car was made, it had to be driven, it was bought (by means that really don't concern us) , let the dude drive, let him enjoy his Hummer H2, its a car. He'll come back to the US working double-shifts 7 days a week. So please, let him enjoy his stay love relationship with Hummer! Who knows, he may go back to Cameroon with a Mybach next time....
Posted by: Ely | Thursday, 26 January 2006 at 08:15 PM
American here. You are very right. No one respects hummers here in America. The people that drive these huge trucks are usually very rude people. They endanger others on the road, pollute the air, and waste precious resources. Most drive them because the feel "safe" in case of an accident. However, the other cars on the road are not safe from the SUV and SUV tend to rollover, so even the driver of the SUV is not safe.
Posted by: captainamerica | Saturday, 28 January 2006 at 12:51 PM
Sad to see you all wasting enegy talking about A Car (Hummer) that was designed
for the purpose of military usage and operations in crazy terrains/roads such as those in the deserts,deserts,etc.....Watch the present War going on in Iraq on tv and you'll notice that most of the Military Vehicles use by the US Army are Hummers...People this isn't a car worth writing about..Now in Cameroon, there are far more better cars than Hummer hence I am puzzled why the post spent time and resources talking about Hummer! I am not in cameroon hence I can't understand why people are so crazy talking about hummer. As one writter said, travel to Nigeria and you'll come to see that Hummer is just like another ordinary Vehicle and not regarded a big deal like it is done in Cameroon
Posted by: sinkond | Sunday, 29 January 2006 at 10:58 PM
to your greatest surprise the owner is a Bamileke man named Eric nganku in Atlanta Georgia USA.
A soban drop out and eager to become popular so let's not blame him for the stupidity
Let's talk about something important than a mere car
Posted by: maya | Thursday, 02 February 2006 at 10:41 PM
Afrikans - not everything in America is worth copying.
Posted by: HiLoJayLo | Sunday, 20 August 2006 at 09:04 AM
Sinkond we disagree. Hummer is a big deal. If Nigerians are following a stupid trend like dodos it is a shame. Oil is a scarce resource about which people are fighting wars and killing others. If it has to be used it should be used with care. That is what this is about.
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