Paul Biya’s Vacation: An Idea For Obudu Cattle Ranch

By Pius Adesami (Originally published on Nigerian Village Square)

His country is one of the poorest and most corrupt in Africa but he sure can afford an expensive vacation. And the cost of his vacation is beginning to make tongues wag in La Baule”. That was how the news anchor of France 24 cable news station (France started that TV station in the vain hope of catching up with CNN and Al Jazeera) started her 7 p.m. news broadcast on Wednesday September 3, 2009. I hurriedly phoned to announce to some Nigerian and French friends who were waiting for me at a pub around the Centre Georges Pompidou in Paris that I would be late. Something just cropped up on TV, bla bla bla. It is my last week in Paris and the friends had organized a beering session at the pub to bid me farewell. Next week, I return to the grind of Canadian academia after two months in France.

Arriving late for my own sendoff because of a news item on TV? That’s the eternal damnation of the Nigerian/African in the West! Every time you hear “Africa” or “Nigeria” on TV, you behave like an antelope whose hyper-sensitive ears have just caught the whiff of an unwelcome lion in the neighbourhood. I wasn’t going to miss a France 24 news feature about the ongoing vacation of one of Francophone Africa’s most corrupt Présidents à vie (Presidents for life) and Pères de la Nation (fathers of the nation).

 

Details soon came with flamboyant footage of Monsieur le Président Biya holidaying with his wife in the French resort town of La Baule. As Professional as she tried to be, the news anchor couldn’t hide her disgust and contempt as she reeled out the details of how another African buffoon and his ostentatious wife “are currently on an expensive holiday in La Baule”. Naturally, the Biyas have taken over the most expensive hotel in very expensive La Baule for their three-week vacation. They booked 43 – yes, forty-three! – luxury rooms for themselves and aides! The price tag for the people of Cameroon? Only eight hundred thousand euros!

 

At this point, the focus shifts to the French journalist who started the investigation and blew the whistle on this crazy vacation. He gives the usual talking points that we hear regularly from Western liberal friends of Africa. He tells of how disgusting the whole thing is. He tells of what the money that the Presidential couple has wasted could do for the starving children and women of Africa – yes, he said Africa, not Cameroon. I was about screaming in frustration at the Africanization of the madness of the President of one specific African country when a better idea occurred to me…

 

President and President Mrs. Paul Biya have eight hundred thousand euros to blow on a three-week, forty-three-rooms vacation in France. You and I know that, as African “leaders”, they will come again next year and even adjust their expenses for inflation.

 

Since we can’t stop them from coming, why don’t we at least struggle to make them keep the money in the family back in Africa? Nigeria’s Obudu cattle ranch in Cross River state is walking distance from the Biyas. I suggest that the management of Obudu, the Governor of Cross River state, and the Minister of Tourism send a high-powered delegation to Yaoundé with immediate effect to offer a discounted 2010 summer vacation at Obudu to the Presidential couple of Cameroon. Eight hundred thousand euros is a lot of money and we could use it in Nigeria. Do they really need it in France? If we knew how to market the tourism potential of Obudu properly, we just might be able to convince the Biyas to bring that excess Cameroonian money to Nigeria next year. After all, it could even be Nigerian money that they are already spending in France! There is no telling if Cameroon has already started making money from the oil reserves in the Bakassi peninsula, hence the very expensive holiday in La Baule.

 

Back to the news. The Mayor of La Baule was interviewed for the clip. He showered praises on the Presidential couple and commented on the friendship between the people of La Baule and the people of Cameroon! Asked if he was aware of the fact that the Biyas’ vacation in his town contributes to corruption in Africa, he smiled and quipped: “no comments”. My friends at the pub had comments when I finally joined them. I announced my intention to write and publish this piece. “You would be doing the Nigerian people a disservice”, one of them said. “You don start again o. Wetin be disservice for inside dis matter?” I asked. “If you write and publish that President Biya spent eight hundred thousand euros on 43 hotel rooms in Europe, don’t be surprised to hear next year that a Nigerian Governor, Senator, or Rep has spent two million euros on seventy rooms in La Baule. You will just give the looters of Abuja ideas on where next to spend the loot.” I kept quiet. There is nothing a group of Nigerians can’t say over beer when discussing our disgraceful rulers. How do you respond to that one?

Comments

[Ma Mary]

Typical Nigerian humour. Only one thing, Bakassi is neither Nigerian nor Camerounese but Southern Cameroons. Oloshi!

[The Ngwa Man]

What an interestingly amusing article. The author did make some nice points though, atleast if Biya had spent the vacance in Nigeria the money would have remained in the African family. Ooooooooh our why don't they think farther than their noses. By actually developing the countries infrastructure, promoting/encouraging homegrown business ventures, and practicing good governance amongst other things would generate tons more revenue for them to steal/enjoy abroad. Instead they are content with the current business model of chicken change from their masters tables.

[Ndangang]

Alain Dipoko, stop talking like someone without brain. The author or this piece was just trying to blow out what he watched on France24 channel. He made some mistakes in what he said like bakassi and whatever....this doesn´t give you the right to generalize your statement, talking about the whole nigeria and nigerians living in Cameroon. We Cameroonian are intelligent than that. So please be Wise!

[VA Boy]

Slimy frog man. Are you posting out of your latrine country or you were just telling lies again? Somebody should report on that soon. Frogs are totally brainwashed beings. It really got your goat when someone criticized your friend who hates cassava because he is now French. It is better for your president to squander stolen Southern Cameroons money in Europe where he is justifiable regarded as a greedy monkey, than in another African country?

[VA Boy]

How is life in St. Paul, MN?

[JOHNYWALKER]

IF BIYA IS NOT guilty of the mony spent,then the government of this GOD FORSAKEN PAYS SHOULD LET US KNOW HW MUCH BIYA SPENT IN LA BAULE.

[Ma Mary]

Yes, the first censor of the Southern Cameroons press was Jean Claude Ngoh, one of the architects of the annexation. Perhaps Southern Cameroonians learned something from you guys. It is convenient for you to ask for fair play. When the ball is in your court, and it has mostly been in your court, there is no fair play.

Anglosaxon? Who told you we were anglosaxons? We are Southern Cameroonians for now, until we agree on an appropriate appelation. The French model is to turn people into french people. The word "francophone" means someone who can speak french and is frenchified. Speaking English does not make one an anglophile.

"Anglophones" did not join "Francophones" in 1961. Southern Cameroons, came into a union with la Republique du Cameroun which was turned into an annexation, using old French tricks that a reading of history back to Richelieu and beyond can show. Europe, especially Germany was subjected to the same tricks back then. They play on weaknesses. Look for cracks. They say if you sup with the devil, use a long spoon. I have said before, if you deal with the french and their minions, guard all your orifices and senses, because they have a temptation for each one. Some Southern Cameroonians are at that level of abstemiousness and there is no temptation that you can render. Devils.

Why does la republique avoid the historical fact of Southern Cameroons and chooses the distraction of Anglophone? Because that historical fact is the crack in the fiction of a union.

They are censoring you? I hope they throw you out completely. Nyamfuka.

[Che Sunday]

After all, it could even be Nigerian money that they are already spending in France!
Whoever the author is, Obudu Cattle Ranch is not property of Nigeria. Up until Abacha's reign, Nigeria had always paid Cameroon rents for using the Cattle ranch. Go check your records and come back with an updated version of who really owns the ranch.

[Paa Ngembus]

Fellow Southern Cameroonians,

Alain Dipoko alais UnitedStatesOfAfrica alias Amougou alias Ondoua alias USMinnesotta just proved what we have been saying on this network for a while.

YOU SHOULD NEVER TRUST A FROG.

All citizens of La Republique Francaise du Cameroun are a bunch of thieving, cajoling, deceiving con men. They are all wolves in sheeps clothing.

NEVER EVER TRUST A FELLOW FROM LA REPUBLIQUE.

For those Southern Cameroonians who are still naive you have been warned.

This jerk of Alain Dipoko just came up with all sorts of gimics (leaving for Yaounde with his family via New York after finishing his studies, censorship, etc., etc.), to retire the name Alain Dipoko just like he retired UnitedStatesOfAfrica and other names.

I guarantee you he will resurface under another name.

Be forewarned.

A+

Paa Ngembus

[Africamania, son of a sessekou]

though funny but it quite interesting. it is not a matter of being Nigerian or Cameroonian. the point is we have to condemn all this excesses by african leaders and their cronies. Cameroon of all places with it qualification as a number1 HIPC cannot afford to spend so much money for some God forsaken vacation. Don't we have resorts in cameroon or cann't we develop such resorts along our coast?
Mr Tchiroma needs a refresher course with Prof. Kontchou to become a spokesman. His defency to this vacation implicated Biya than defend him. He needs lying 101. to be qualified for his office if not then he is a liability to Biya and associates.

[The herald]

Is the nigerian been attacked because he has voiced out the truth?The truth is the truth no matters where it comes from,you can't kill it,you will surely labour in vain if you try.Why didn't you attack france 24?That is the very source from which he got the news.A fallacy of argumuntum ad hominem?

[slomo]

The poor guy simply tried to make a mockery of popol's spending spree by, jokingly saying he shuld have visited nigeria. Its the same as saying he should have spent the money at home.
come on, Biya is nothing but a lazy,shameless man who has no knowledge of the country he pretends he is ruling.
He knows nothing than grinding tax payers money for his infamous "private trips" to Europe.
Can you imagine that guy spends more than 188 days per year out of the country in the name of "private visits"
One quick advice, the descendant of a freaky, sassy homosexual is out to diviate from the objectives of this forum. Just read the off - the - tracks analysis he has been presenting.
Your identities, watchout, there is a devil the house.

[Asafor Valentine funwie]

The HIPC,(heavily indebted poor countries)have got a glorious advantage to use these package for sustainable development,yet cameroon and her ruling elites will never reason enough to develope or a define a plan of action to execute the HIPC funds.

There is money but because of greed and stomach politics,they have resulted to visit state coffers with impunity.Judgement day is very close,they will drink from thier blood and eat thier flesh. Confused idiot,Take note (a cat will always hide his spout to make friend with a rat.)Paul biya, the most dullest man i have known in my life.

[Asafor Valentine funwie]

Ohhhhhh'yes my bros Slomo,as you rightly put,the Maradona in corruption scandal has little or no knowledge of the country he pretends he is ruling.How can an absentee landlord claims he is on holidays?Ahidjo constructed presidential accomodations in all the Ten provinces in Cameroon,a wise President with a tourism culture will use his holidays to visit some of these abandoned structures.

Slomo, i will suggest we turn the prime minister lodge in Buea and the presidential lodge in Bamenda for a touristic site.The tourism sector needs to be revised in Cameroon.Unfortunately Cameroonians do not have a tourism Culture,this explains why the bloody lunatic,hopless Biya will spend taxpayer money in France.Cameroonians would have been happy to see the spoon,plates,clothes the former president used,unfortunately the old presidency has been abandoned.
The exploitative culture has ruin the frogs,no sense of direction,no love for the Country.Paul Biya is not development oriented.He can read and interpret the map of France more than The map of Yaounde.Visit a few counties in Europe and observe what Development entails.A bunch of unpatriotic Fools.

[The Entrepreneur Newsonline]

The Heat is On...man no run...tribalists, seccessionists...frogs..fools....whatever...Up Mountain is the station to climb. Fire on Monsieur Alain Dipoko.....Give each other your 'Camerooness'...

[mamiya mboa]

I THINK THE BAD NEWS ABOUT NIGERIA HAS COME TO REPRESENT AFRICA NEGATIVELY. THIS IGBO(BIAFRA) MAN KNOWS THAT AN IGBO CAN NEVER BE PRESIDENT IN NIGERIA. ALL THE PROBLEMS IN YOUR COUNTRY, YOU THINK YOU CAN TEACH CAMEROON. ARMED ROBBERY, SECTS, PRIVATE-JET-FLYING-PASTORS, SCAMMING,SICK PRESIDENT, TALIBANISM, KIDNAPPERS ETC..CAMEROON HAS DEFEATED NIGERIA IN EVERYTHING-BAKASSI, FOOTBALL, BASKETBALL,name it. NIGERIA IS A SHAME TO AFRICA. LEAVE CAMEROON AND BIYA ALONE. SEND YAR ADUA TO YOUR MOSQUITOE-INFESTED OBUDOU RANCH OR IF YOU CARE SEND HIM TO A REBEL CAMP IN NIGER DELTA

[GTEBECK]

I am so suprised at the ahte spewing from you mouth of fellow Camerronians in this forum. The author NEVER for a moment claimed that Nigeria was better than Cameroon in any way. He expressed digusat at the wast of the pulic officials of both countries. What is wrong with Biya Vcationing in Nigeria SINCE HE HAS DECIDED THERE IS NO GOOD PLACE IN CAMERRONNFOR HIS VACTION? THIS WHY WE WILL ALWAYS REMAIN BEHING. WE CAN'T LOVE OUT BROTHERS.

[ContryFowl]

" Thanks to a series of ancient customs still practiced in the North West Province, like serfdom, where people crawl before their Fons, yet, would not kneel to pray to their God, and they would work for free for their fons for fear of retribution; thanks to the ancient system of wife inheritance and polygamy still going on in this region, and thanks also for the limited arable land, the Anglophones from the North West adopted several survival tactics. One of the many intrigues is tribalism, nepotism, and treachery."

Mr. Dipoko,

That is a classic Konde line, are you guys sharing the same bed...???
I am not yet convince that the two of you are not the same individual..??
if not, do you guys exchange your scripts....???

[dango tumma]

what is the difference between province, region and LA REPUBLIQUE DU CAMEROUN>
IN PAUL BIYA MIND, MIND YOU THE MAN SPEAKS OR WRITE NO ENGLISH SOO WE CONSIDER HIMA FOREIGN LEADER OF LA REPUBLIQUE DU CAMEROUN

[Jam]

There is no place for generalizations.

If the President of Cameroon decides to live in luxurious hotels while on vacation, does that imply citizens from this African country will do the same if opportuned?

Jam

[VA Boy]

Nigeriaphobia!
Go ahead.

We shall be getting the open help of Nigeria to expel you Republique du Cameroun interlopers from our country.

Go ahead.
Make our day!
Amphibian.

[VA Boy]

Some traditional customs of the fons are antiquated and have no place in the 21st century. I grant you that, Alain. Is that a reason to hold back Southern Cameroons? Think.

Do you not have the same kind of traditional rulers in Bamoun and Bamileke country. Your Lamido of Rey Bouba does worse and keeps slaves. So, what is the improvement in being part of la Republique.

Yours is the kitchen sink strategy. Throw everything and hope that something sticks.

Bye Bye Frogs. You want Southern Cameroons to be a Nigerian-free zone? In return should we want Southern Cameroons to be frog-free? No, we shall open our doors to your political refugees when the inevitable explosion occurs.

[slomo]

i can imagine the dance the whole of cameroon danced when these some cameroonians where chased out of Equatorial Guinea, oh, everybody shouted its xenophobic and here we are in the same country you seem to say respects international law.
As VA says,if there are any purges, we should be purging frogs not Nigerians.
Asafor, really we need to give a touch on the pms lodge in buea, the kimbi game reserve, the spectacular falls in Ngohkitundjia, the bafut royal meseums to avoid theis guy squandering tax payers money out in west for nothing.
I PREFER EMBRASSING A NIGERIAN THAN EVEN SEEING A FROG.

[slomo]

the issue is where he spent the money for his vacation and not all the bla bla bla bla we are indulging into.
It feels so bad to hear that cameroonians were killed in Nigeria, but this in itself cannot justify any such brutal and senseless act of tht nature.
AS i said earlier, your analysis are all based on lies
THERE IS NO PLAN, NOT TO TALK ABOUT PRAPARATIONS TO EVICT "ALL" NIGERIANS NO MATTER THEIR SITUATION;
Not even the government of the worst millitary junta would do that, let alone the government of a country that spends billions a year on western newspapers like NY times, Financial times etc to attract investment in the country
Come on, man, you're just a liar
THE FACT IN ISSUE IS THAT THE PRESIDENT SPENT MILLIONS FOR HIS VACATION AND SOMEBODY WATCHD A REPPORT ON THE CHANNEL OF YOUR VERY FRANCE FATHERLAND AND THEN MAKES A COMMENT ON IT. If its not true (wh i doubt so much) bring facts as an insider to convince us. Stop comparing popol with isane presidents like the sassous and the rest

[Paa Ngembus]

Alain Mapouka the Fake Fang-Pahouin,

The more you write the more we are able to track you right to your keyboard.

My dad once told me that when you see somone who lies to themselves, know that they are mad. Now they may be mad for various reasons. Some are mad to escape family responsibility, some are mad to make money and some are mad for real.

WHATEVER THE REASON, ALAIN DIPOKO MAPOUKA IS MAD.

You can take that to the bank.

We shall settle his case guys don't worry.

A+

Paa Ngembus

[boila]

what rubbish where are we really heading to may GOD help us and direct us to see what lies ahead of us stay bless all that participated.

[buy generic viagra]

If the President of Cameroon decides to live in luxurious hotels while on vacation, does that imply citizens from this African country will do the same if opportune?